Tourette's Syndrome Haikus 

A collection of bad haikus by Sue Blair


As a teenager
Others had fun, while I prayed
No one notice me

I curse; it's a curse
The forbidden word pops out
It slips past the brake

Everyone thinks them
Thoughts that scream 'you're an asshole'
They can keep them in

Weird twitching motions
Humiliating jerking
Of the arms and legs

Everyone has them
Inappropriate gestures
They can hold them back

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
Fuck fuck fuck fuck shit

Medication helps
But also makes me sleepy
Use for special times

Such as my wedding
Could not scream 'prick' at the priest
Excommunicate

Fear of it coming
I can stop it for a while
The hounds are let slip

Like holding your breath
You can't do it forever
When the levee breaks

Shit shit shit shit shit
What are you staring at, dick?
Shit shit shit shit fuck

No warning sign for
The unstoppable impulse
To move or to speak

And then it's over
Cannot take back those things said
The shocked and hurt looks

No one understands
Spouse, coworkers, family
Difficult for them

It comes in the crowds
People back away slowy
Strangers' eyes on me

The nervous tic starts
Hollering obscenities
I go through the mall

Over and over
I fling my hand from my chest
Like a nazi geek

She's a rank buttwhore
Say, wouldn't you like to be 
A rank buttwhore too?

Awful thing blurted
I called him a rank buttwhore
Deep shame and regret

A public setting
Is where it seems to happen
Best to be alone

No, I will not let
Neurological disease
Rob me of my life

Flawed brain receptor
Trashed braking mechanism
Faulty synapses

I can get past these 
The greater part of the time
And be like others

Every now and then
With spontaneous tap dance
I entertain you