Object of My Affection
----------------------
by Sue Blair, 1998

This is a film about a cute, nice woman who has the emotional
stability of a two-year-old (played by Jennifer Anus-ton of
'Friends').  The scary part is that she is a youth counselor and,
even scarier, reproduces during the course of the film.  The film
is a spiraling soap-opera manifesto of her idiocy, weakness, and
perpetual whining.  I think that she is supposed to be a sympathetic
character since she is pregnant, her hormones are raging, and she
is plagued by feelings of loneliness, but she was an idiot and an
emotional wreck before the pregnancy, so I decided not to cut her
any slack.

First off, she becomes pregnant and immediately decides that the
father is a complete loser and doesn't want anything to do with him.
Of course, the guy clearly is a loser and this was apparent much
earlier (like when they were having sex without adequate protection).
Apparently, the fetus growing inside this woman suddenly causes
her to have thoughts.  Note that this is not a rational thought
process or anything, but nonetheless, she develops a fantasy
scenario that she believes she must carry out for the benefit of
the child that she is to bear.  She dumps her boyfriend and asks
her gay male friend to help her raise the child (platonically).
He of course, agrees.  However, this is not enough for our femme
fatale.  She decides to fall in love with the gay guy and expects
him to reciprocate.  During this part, she becomes ultra-clingy,
possessive, ridiculously self-centered, and positively cloying which
is fairly stifling to watch.  Buffoonery ensues with hurt feelings,
rejection, loneliness, and the whole nine yards.

However, in the end, some poor sap takes pity on her and they
raise the child together.  The sappiest part is at the end where
they are panning the audience of the child's school play.
Every single character is friends with each other and everyone has
found someone that loves them, except for the elderly fag (the best
character, a critic who likes to rip on shitty theatre).  I think
the point of the film is that everyone can find somebody to put up
with their bullshit if they are reasonably good looking and not old.
Also, the end of the film finds the father of the child suddenly
having turned into a reasonable human being.  Birds twitter and
the flowers gently sway in the spring breeze.

I generally dislike light drama films, though I did laugh at some
points, mostly at the ludicrosity (ludicrous atrocity) that was the
spiraling plot and the unfathomable slack that people cut this chick.