Date: Sun, 12 Feb 1995 14:53:21 GMT From: "B. Sue Blair" Subject: Film review: Necromantik Necromantik 1989 (German) ------------------------- (not to be confused with Necromantic II: Return of the Loving Dead) I am alone in my love for this film. This film rules not only because it is sick, but mainly because of the great fun of watching peoples' reactions to it. The Ann Arbor film co-op was showing it in a campus auditorium. There were about 30 people there and about 12 people left during the film. You would think that young educated folks above all would keep an open mind and check out the film. Or at least be cheap enough motherfuckers to want their full 4 bucks worth. My friend said it was one of the top 10 worst movies ever (sick, violent toward women, silly, and tedious I believe were the words used). I say it is one of the 10 best. Now, about the film. It is a necrophiliac porno film about a necro guy named Joe and his necro girlfriend. Joe works as a crime-scene/ accident cleanup guy. He manages to pilfer body parts for his prolific formaldehyde collection and as a special bonus, gets to dispose of the partially- mummified, rotting corpse of an unidentified drowning victim. He takes the body home to his honey-bun and they put the dead guy in bed and go to it. The victim's penis has rotted away, so they saw off a pipe and jam it in his pelvic bone to make amends (in spite of the diseases that the corpse may be carrying, they do responsibly practice safe sex by placing a condom on the metal rod). The sex scenes are filmed in cheesy 1970's montage; the grossest thing is when the dead guy's eyeball falls out of its socket as the girlfriend sticks out her tongue to lick it as it falls in slow motion. However, there is trouble in paradise when Joe loses his job by slacking off and coming in consistently late. The girlfriend yells at him saying, "We had it made. How long do you think this corpse will last? He is already nearly gone." Joe returns to the pad later to find that she has booked and taken their "friend" with her. It is really sad to think that even a couple with so much in common can't make it together. Joe attempts to find solace by watching women being attacked in lame slasher films and by killing a cat (smearing his naked body with its guts). He gets moderately excited and picks up a prostitute, taking her to the cemetery for a nice lay. There is one problem though; she is alive. After killing her, he is able to get a nice woody and consummate the process. Eventually, Joe loses it completely since he is living a mad manic-depressive existence. He decides to kill himself; he lays on his bed and plunges a knife into his gut. He stabs himself repeatedly and, lo and behold, gets off on it. They show his (ridiculously huge) penis squirting white cum; the stream turns red with blood. An angel comes to take him to the plane of rest and they run in slow motion through a golden field, alternately playing catch with a human head and throwing miscellaneous internal organs in the air. In the midst of all this excellent entertainment, some pedestrians missed the point that the movie was trying to make about the inverse relationship between exposure and reaction, i.e., if you repeatedly see enough blood and gore, you will become inured to it. In the case of our hero, he associated blood and gore and death with the warmth of his young family farm life (he loved his dad who he used to watch kill and flay rabbits). The proles who missed the point and the people who were Not Amused were ragging on the poor film co-op people as they left the auditorium. Dammit, people, if you don't want to be challenged, go to the Blowcase Showcase Cinema, put your brain on autopilot, and watch "Man Without a Face" or some other tepid re-hashed melodramatic rip-off diuretic diurhetoric bullshit; i.e., if you don't like stepping in cowpies, then get out of the field; don't try to put Bossie in the barn.